I Swear I’m Not Scrooge

I had made a facebook post earlier today that I will definitely be discussing on next week's edition of Freethought Rhode Island.
This is in regards to a recent billboard:

People think we atheists are attacking Christmas and calling it a myth and such. We're not. Christmas is very much real. The birth of Jesus is not.

Apparently, my first missile has been launched here. My mother decided to respond, and one thing I admire about my mother is that although we are on opposite ends of the spectrum regarding spiritual beliefs, we can actually have civilized discussion about such things. We always do after every show I'm on.

She responded to the post with this:

Must say that I disagree; I believe the birth of Jesus is VERY REAL. I think what you meant to say is that atheists do not "believe" the birth of Jesus is real. Just as many believers do not have "proof" that Jesus was in fact a man that lived, I don't think an atheist has "proof" that he was not. While I totally respect your opinions, please be careful how you choose your words so that you don't "offend" the opinions of others. ;)

Facebook is not really the place to be having long debates about this kind of thing, so that's why I'm moving it to my blog, where there is more of a personal forum.

Well, not really a personal forum, just a place for me to go to the furthest extent of my pedantry, I suppose.

I think what you meant to say is that atheists do not "believe" the birth of Jesus is real.

No, I meant to say what I meant to say. Some atheists do believe that the birth of Jesus was an event that happened, because it has nothing to do with belief in a god.

However, a lot can be said about this alleged event. Even the birth of this legend is quite similar to the story of Mithra, a Zoroastrian god-man that predates the Jesus story by about 600 years; Mithra himself was born of a virgin on December 25th, and like Jesus, had 12 disciples and was called “the way, the truth, and the light”, amongst other similarities.

Just as many believers do not have "proof" that Jesus was in fact a man that lived, I don't think an atheist has "proof" that he was not.

My mother usually has the very good reasoning and logic, but unfortunately this falls flat. The burden of proof isn’t on the one rejecting the claim, and it isn’t possible to prove a negative. I don’t have to provide proof that there is not a ceramic teapot orbiting Neptune.

While I totally respect your opinions, please be careful how you choose your words so that you don't "offend" the opinions of others.

At this point is where I will launch my final salvo.

I’m not going to water down my words to prevent somebody from being offended. I am a full-fledged advocate of free speech and the idea that nobody has the right to not be offended (including myself… freedom of speech is far more important than my own comfort). It is ethical to respect you as a person if you have earned it, but it is not mandatory that therefore I must respect your ideas and opinions. These things are not sentient; they do not have feelings, and not only should they be subject to scrutiny by others, but also by the person that holds them. I, along with the other hosts of the radio show, may seem brash and abrasive at times, but it’s only towards the absurd claims that people make regarding their religious beliefs. If you don’t want to be ridiculed, refrain from saying ridiculous things that ostensibly have no basis in reality.

Take a look at the billboard that was recently installed at the end of the Lincoln Tunnel in NYC:


Now I’m sure most of you reading this will regard this as in-your-face and aggressive. How is this any more aggressive than a billboard that reads “When you die, you will go to hell unless you believe in God”? (And yes, that was an actual billboard here in RI for a little while over in Cranston.) This billboard is nothing more than a tool for stating the obvious.

…unless you mean to tell me that a gigantic star led some old wise men to a manger in which a baby, who was the son of a god and was conceived without the act of sexual reproduction, on the night of December 25th.

Look at the billboard again. Is this a European depiction of Jesus as an adult? Heck, can you see Jesus anywhere in the picture? I sure can’t, even in that manger. The most pronounced features of the billboard are the three men on camels, the star, the ass, and maybe the palm trees if you’re that observant. But another focal point is the word “KNOW”. Knowledge is something that’s practical and supported by good evidence. It’s not something you take on “faith” or unjustified belief.

Some atheists celebrate Christmas. Some don’t… some have a Festivus for the rest of us. Some, who are Jewish by tradition, actually might celebrate Hanukkah instead. Christmas, in the way it is celebrated these days, is not at all religious. However, if you want Jesus to be the reason for your season, then by all means. I have no problem with that. I do have a problem, however, with your whining and bitching about people using “Happy Holidays”. If your faith is so insecure that you snivel at people who use that phrase in place of “Merry Christmas”, then I pity you.

What I don’t want to do with this post is make it seem like I’m downplaying Christmas. I’m not. Christmas is a wonderful time of year, despite the fact that it’s 90% stolen pagan traditions (and nowadays, commercialized consumerism). Heck, I’m not even sure if I agree with “celebrate REASON for the season”. Reason isn’t anything to celebrate, but it is something that should be utilized throughout the whole year. What I do know is that Jesus certainly isn’t the reason for the season, either.

This season, celebrate life. Celebrate friends and family and togetherness. Celebrate love.

Mage Chronicles Game Reviews - Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

Konami’s latest gorgeous 3D installment in the long-running franchise is a real button-masher that seems more content on borrowing bits and pieces from others.

I am a long-time fan of the Castlevania series, despite the fact that most of Konami’s previous forays into the third dimension weren’t so noteworthy. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow (LoS) has been called a series “reboot” by its creators. It’s definitely a step in the right direction, although it heavily borrows favored gameplay mechanics from other titles that you’ll easily recognize once you start playing it. If it weren’t for the title being emblazoned on the pause screen, you would actually forget that you’re playing a Castlevania game.

The protagonist is Gabriel Belmont, who is a member of the Brotherhood of Light, an elite group of paladins who keep supernatural creatures at bay. His personal mission is to defeat the Lords of Shadow that are responsible for both his wife’s death and the pestilence and evil that plagues the world. By defeating the Lords of Shadow, Gabriel will obtain the God Mask required to resurrect his wife, Marie.

Please note that I am reviewing the XBox 360 version of this title.

Graphics: 9/10
After watching the opening cutscene, I was pleasantly surprised to find that what I was seeing was in-game graphics. LoS has the frame rate of an interactive movie, and every environment is richly detailed. Levels range from vibrant landscapes and abandoned ruins to dark castle corridors and deserted wastelands. Its charm became lost on me once I found the invisible walls. Just because you can see a location does not mean you can get to it; too many times I saw flat surfaces that the game would not allow me to jump upon.

Nonetheless, LoS is downright gorgeous, even the character models. Every monster seems to have been meticulously designed and crafted with love. The same can’t be said of any people in the game other than Gabriel, however; while his outfit is vibrant and colorful, everyone else seems drab and somewhat monochromatic. Perhaps this was meant to draw the attention to Gabriel, because it worked.

Story: 8/10
Gabriel has set upon himself the task of defeating all of the Lords of Shadow who are responsible for his wife’s death and the evils of the land. He is joined by a fellow Brotherhood knight, Zobek (voiced by Patrick Stewart, who also narrates the story before every level).  Gabriel’s drive to avenge his wife’s death is what drives the story, and he is helped along the way by the god Pan and a telepathic girl named Claudia.

Writer David Cox has stated that since this game is a ‘reboot’ of the series, the story of this game is not canon to other titles in the franchise. Although Gabriel’s name is Belmont, this means he is in no way related to other members of the clan in other games. (source)

I don’t want to spoil too much, as the plot takes quite a few twists and turns.

Gameplay: 7.5/10
If you liked God of War, then you’ll love the combat mechanics of LoS. If you liked Shadow of the Colossus, then you’ll love half the boss fights. I wish I was kidding. I guess if you’re going to borrow great gameplay mechanics, though, why not borrow from the best?

First, the combat. Castlevania’s trend of subweapons is still intact, with the inclusion of daggers, crystals, holy water, and fairies, but substituting for the whip is the Combat Cross. This is Gabriel’s vampire-slaying and landscape-traversing bread and butter. Like God of War, your attacks and combos consist of heavy straightforward strikes or wide-area but weaker strikes. Linking them together with Light Magic increases your health after each successful blow with the spiked chain, and augmenting with Shadow Magic makes your attacks hit harder. There are a lot of useful combos to be unlocked, although I found myself lost in button-mashing and still being successful.

The Combat Cross is also used as a grappling hook, which adds a new layer to the Shadow of the Colossus-type platforming you do in levels and fighting against titans. Oddly enough, this weapon gains the name of “Vampire Killer”, in spite of the fact that it’s not a whip.

LoS also contains an element of puzzle-solving, a creative addition to the game. You actually have the option of bypassing these puzzles and forfeiting the experience point reward you would get for solving them. They’re all not too much of a challenge, and the reward is worth the attempt.

Level trials are unlocked after you beat them, and demand that you fulfill a specific requirement before beating the level. Some of them are downright hard, and the only reward seems to be an Achievement for conquering them all. I’m not sure if it’s worth it. However, it does give the game some replayability once you’ve traversed the main storyline. Going back to previous levels to gather missed or unreachable items is highly recommended.

Sound: 8/10
All the voice acting in this game (especially the protagonist’s voice, Robert Carlyle, and Stewart) is done superbly. The script is a bit over-the-top, but what would a Castlevania game be without that? A miserable little pile of secrets. The orchestrated score is masterfully done as well, as each piece fits its respective setting. Every blood spurt, bone crunch, and chain slice is very satisfying, even when it happens to you.

Overall: 8/10
They could have removed Gabriel’s last name and the “Castlevania” connotation, and I would have been taken in. Like I said before, it’s all too easy to forget that you’re playing a Castlevania title if it weren’t for it being on the damn pause menu. Despite the sometimes inconvenient fixed camera angle, clonky platforming, and somewhat copycat combat system, Castlevania: Lords of Shadow is a great pickup for people who would like to see the series go in a separate direction. However, I’d be more apt to recommend it to those who enjoyed God of War.

Delaware Has an Easy Senate Vote

For those of you who have just discovered my blog from the Freethought RI blog, a few things. First, I would like to thank you for being a loyal listener to the show! I had made a facebook post a while ago about wanting to get the topics that you, the curious listener™, want to talk about. Leave ‘em in the comments or send Dan an email. If you’re new to Mage Chronicles, check the archive in the sidebar or follow the tags for any posts that you may be interested in.

For those of you who are coming here from my facebook status updates, thanks also, and I really hope you keep reading! Now, on to the meat of the post. There’s a lot of meat here, so grab your utensils or what have you.

The residents of Delaware now have a very easy decision to make regarding their Senator this year; their Democratic candidate, Chris Coons. In a recent debate held before an audience of law students (remember this, it’s important), his opponent, Republican Christine O’Donnell, failed to the third degree. I’m not all that knowledgeable about politics, but there are a few things that I do know about that I would expect elected officials to have at least a rudimentary understanding of.

The exchange came in a debate before an audience of legal scholars and law students at Widener University Law School, as O'Donnell criticized Democratic nominee Chris Coons' position that teaching creationism in public school would violate the First Amendment by promoting religious doctrine.

I really don’t get what’s to criticize here. He’s absolutely correct, and he made the same point about Intelligent Design when O’Donnell brought it up and attempted to assert that it is a completely different entity. It’s not. We all know that Intelligent Design is just creationism in disguise.

Furthermore, before that:

"Talk about imposing your beliefs on the local schools," she said. "You've just proved how little you know not just about constitutional law but about the theory of evolution. Because the theory of evolution is not a fact, it is indeed a theory.”

This woman owes me a new irony meter. Secondly, how many times have we all seen “evolution’s not a fact, it’s a theory”? Once more, with feeling… in the scientific community, the two terms are indistinguishable. Evolution is a fact and a theory. I won’t explain that here, it’s done on TalkOrigins.

Coons countered correctly again by mentioning the separation of church and state. O’Donnell’s counterpoint? This little gem.

When Coons responded that the First Amendment bars Congress from making laws respecting the establishment of religion, O'Donnell asked: "You're telling me that's in the First Amendment?" (emphasis mine)

If you watch the video, the audience audibly titters. I’m sure many of them proceeded to facepalm. I certainly did. Let’s face it… there are a lot of political and legal debates out there about our Constitution and what it says, but I was under the impression that everyone understands the whole “freedom of religion” thing as well as our Establishment Clause in our First Amendment.  Everyone, it seems, except for fundamentalist Christians and right-wing pundits who assert that because the phrase doesn’t appear in the Constitution, we should throw out the principle entirely. Well, guess what? “Thou shalt not kill” isn’t anywhere in the document, either. I’m-a go get my gun.

But what’s even more troubling is that O’Donnell actually seemed perplexed by this. She seemed genuinely ignorant of the fact that the principle behind the separation of church and state is derived from our First Amendment. A little further into the video clip, O’Donnell actually had to be reminded about what some of the Amendments were and whether she supported them.

No surprise to me is that she’s a Teabaggin’ Party favorite. This is the best of what they have to offer, folks. These people are so outraged at what they are currently seeing in public office, that I guess they’ve decided to see what happens when they bring the whole system crashing down.

An Obligation to Etiquette or Ethics

The VP of the company is not my direct supervisor, but he's pretty much my boss. The good thing is, he's a great guy. Last week, he lost his sister to breast cancer. The most happy-go-lucky man I know came into our office nearly in tears to give us this news, and my heart sank because of it. It's bad enough that my fiancée's father is dying of lung cancer.

I decided to get him a sympathy card to be passed around our office. I knew everyone would sign it. I don't care whether or not he thought it was from me, but I'm guessing that the telltale sign would be the handwriting on the envelope.

Anyway, one of the other supervisors sent out an email encouraging the staff to leave early today to attend the wake. Being the godless heathen that I am, I opted out and stayed at the office for the remainder of my shift. I made sure that the card traveled with someone who did decide to go.

So here's the point of discussion... was I justified in not going to the wake? If you are an atheist or you are not religious, even if the wake/funeral was for a loved one, would you still go?

The Legend of Sylph Stridemoon - Chapter 6 - Wings to Discovery

I've finally written part 6!! I hope you enjoy it and continue reading.

---

What Feil described as the audience chamber qualified it as a misnomer. He had led Sylph to a pair of large wooden doors, which provided a gateway into a dimly lit edifice that seemed to be half the size of a cathedral. Sylph followed Feil down a red carpet lined with blacksteel candlesticks roughly his own height. Although stained glass windows lined the walls outside of his periphery, he could not help but admire the sheer majestic nature of the architecture of his surroundings.

When they arrived at the end of the makeshift corridor, Sylph was surprised at what he saw. A large, wide, mahogany desk lay before him, behind which was a rather large bookshelf. Two acolytes were rearranging tomes on the shelves, but there was one other who seemed to be fervently searching. From what Sylph could tell by its clothing, it was male, but it was a creature that bore slight similarity to the fountain’s statue in the courtyard. Its wings were not nearly as large, but still kept the creature aloft as they fluttered. It had fur as white as untouched snow, and its most pronounced feature was the red puffball attached to its head by a wiry stem. Its long ears twitched before turning to greet Sylph with a look of curiosity. He smiled warmly in reply, but with a matched sentiment. He nudged Feil and quietly whispered to him.

“That creature, there, tending to the books... I’ve never…”
“Moogles,” Feil quietly interrupted. “Direct descendants of Carbuncle herself. Wonderful creatures, they are. Always friendly and willing to lend a helping hand. I don’t know how this basilica would function without them... after all, they built this place.”
Really? Such fragile-looking creatures built… this? Sylph thought, but he was once again interrupted mid-thought.

“Ah, you must be Sir Stridemoon, kupo.”
Sylph had to look down to find the source of the airy, but deep voice. He immediately recognized what must have been an elder moogle; he lacked the red puffball of his younger counterparts, his wings were smaller and much more frail, and he sauntered toward the mages with a wooden crook. His ears were also an indicator of his age; they were bent as opposed to the pointed and perked ears of the more youthful Moogles. He was followed by two others who were robed in similar garb and hobbling along using canes. Other than the robes, Sylph couldn’t discern too many differences other than facial structure.

“We are the elders here at the Carbuncle Basilica. I am the head elder, Monobu. In the green is Pocomo, and in the violet is my wife Nikli. It is an honor to meet you, kupo.” The others simply nodded in agreement.

Sylph addressed all of them. “It is I who should be honored. It is thanks to Brother Feil here that I stand before you in the first place. I am grateful for your hospitality and healing efforts. And please pardon me if I seem aloof, for I have never met any moogles before.”

“Quite all right, kupo. You are most welcome here. It is very rare that we see a red mage around here. When Feil told me your name, however, I just had to meet you. Your story intrigued me yet further. Come… there is much we need to discuss, kupo!”

Monobu hobbled over to the desk and pointed, with his cane, to a few books on the shelves. All three were wide and looked to have rather thick bindings, but amazingly the moogle acolyte was able to carry their weight down to the desk with relative ease. Monobu opened the first tome to one of the many pages marked with a tattered ribbon; it was written in a strange runic language, one that Sylph could not read. His finger trailed over the line of runes, his eyes carefully following as he mumbled to himself in a tongue foreign to Sylph’s ears, yet strangely familiar.

Sylph intervened. “What is it, exactly, that you… we… are looking for here, Monobu?”
“Patience, kupo. I am attempting to unravel the mystery of Gustach’s sudden bloodthirst.” Monobu kept searching page after page until he finally spotted what looked like the paragraph he had been searching for. “This tome is a comprehensive history of Ivalice and its legends, kupo. There is much to be learned here, and I think your fate in all this is sealed. Sit, kupo… we have much to talk about.”

Sylph obliged, and Feil pulled up a chair next to him, fascinated by the elder’s sudden interest in the new guest.

Monobu began. “Gustach, as he may have told you, is the patriarch of the Necrati tribe to the far west. Years ago, he challenged the God of Winds in a fight to the death; he cursed his name for the winds that persistently ravaged his homelands, and decided to end it. Most unfortunately, kupo, he won that battle.”

“All right. That explains where he came from. When he decided to ravage Glenprice, it seems as if all he wanted was the ruby I had found in a cave earlier that day.”

“A ruby, kupo? And he is now in possession of it? This is not good, kupo,” Monobu trembled. Nikli spoke up.
“Long ago, the four Warriors of Light defeated Chaos to save our world. When they vanished, they left behind their crystals as a testament to their power.” Nikli combed through the book in front of her, which was also scribed in the same runes. “…and it basically says here that whosoever gathers the four crystals of the Light Warriors shall know that power once more.”

“Being power hungry will do unspeakable things to a man,” Sylph offered.

Monobu turned to the other elders for what seemed to be approval before speaking once more.
“Kupo… but what we find most interesting is the name of the God of Winds that he killed.”
Feil couldn’t hold in his curiosity. “It had a name? What was it?”

For the first time since they entered the room, the eldest-looking Pocomo solemnly spoke.
“The red mage we see here before us bears his name. The God of Winds… was called Sylph.”

The Ether pulsed.

...Coincidence. It must be, Sylph thought.
At that moment, more epiphanies than he cared to acknowledge hit him at once.
“No. Surely Gustach does not think… but… how is it possible…”

“Kupo, here at the Basilica, we know a thing or two about magicks. Mist runs in moogle blood. You, however…” Monobu paused briefly. Sylph felt the eyes of everyone in the room, including the flying acolyte, upon him. He dared not look back.
“…I sense no Mist within you.”

“Of course not,” Sylph replied. “I draw my power from the Ether.”
The elders could not help but gasp. Pocomo broke the moment’s pause. “That… that’s impossible, kupo. You do not jest with us, I hope.”

Sylph positioned himself in his chair in a way that gave Pocomo an honest reply.

“Sir Stridemoon… if that is even your real name, kupo,” Nikli said, “…such a power is only known to divine beings. At the very least, according to our literature. The Ether… it is a realm of legend, kupo.”

Sylph percolated only briefly on this new proposition.
“The logic is lacking here. I can be no god… I am but mortal. Clearly, I bleed.”
“But on anyone else, Sylph, your injuries were fatal,” Feil interjected. “You are not the first person I have seen in your condition. I am surprised you live to tell your tale.”
“Brother Feil has a point, red mage,” Pocomo said. “You may underestimate your own powers, kupo.”

Again, Sylph deliberated with himself only briefly. Everything seemed to add up. Too well, for that matter.
“…then that means… Gustach certainly knew as well… and… no. Glenprice…” Sylph sunk his head even lower. “…it was my fault. If I had not been there, lives would have been spared.”

“Nonsense, kupo!” the flying acolyte screamed, who immediately descended upon the conference to which he was listening so intently. “You couldn’t have known that you were who you were. What’s more, Brother Feil said that you did your best, kupo. I believe him, and I also believe you.”

Remarkably, Sylph was comforted. He’s right, Sylph thought.
“Thank you, young one. However, the responsibility to find justice for this tragedy lies with me.”

“It seems to be your fate, kupo,” said Monobu. “Gustach, as it seems as well, cannot kill you. He seeks the power that can finally send you to the hereafter… and who knows what else, kupo. We cannot let that happen.”
Everyone agreed.
“…which is why, kupo, you must retrieve that ruby from him, and find the other crystals before he does,” Nikli declared. “Where you will find them, we do not know yet, but there must be something within these old tomes that will help us point you in the right direction, kupo.”

“In the meantime, Sylph, we have a gift for you. Follow me,” Monobu said, already hobbling his way towards a door off to the back wall.

Sylph and Feil rose. Sylph adjusted his garb and silently followed.

The Legend of Sylph Stridemoon - Chapter 5 - Rejuvenated

Sylph awakened once more, only to find himself in a moderately-lit room. The scent of fresh candles and gysahlweed incense filled his nose. All of his senses were returning to him, albeit slowly, but he began to feel the serenity for which he was aching. His hand lay upon his chest... bare, it was, save for the wrappings that bound the wound on his back.

He looked up... he could clearly see the slope of the room's ceiling, and it was then he realized that he was not capped. He cursed to himself underneath his breath, but turning his head to the side and brushing his locks away relieved him of his worry, as he saw his hat and cloak hanging on a chair a few meters away from the bed. They were in pristine condition. Perhaps his caretakers had cleansed them from the dirt and blood.

He attempted to sit up, but a sharp ache eased him back down to his bed just as one of the robed priests entered the room carrying a plate of food.

"Ah, so you're awake. I would take it easy right now if I were you. Quite the slash you had on your back there... it's healing up nicely, considering I'm quite new to this," he stated, placing the plate on the table next to Sylph's bed.

"Once my strength returns, I'll probably be able to mend it up the rest of the way. However, I believe I owe you my gratitude," Sylph replied.

"No, my friend," the priest reassured. "It is part of my duty. Besides, we could not just leave you there to die. There aren't enough mages like you in this world."

"I can't agree with you more. However, I should direct a related question to you... there were two of you dressed alike, were there not? Who are you?"

"Well, me, personally, my name is Feil Litiere. I'm an acolyte here at the Carbuncle Basilica... we are nothing more than humble white mages living lives of servitude and humility to those in need. You were carried here by my comrade, Markus. He would be here if it were not for other... duties, as it were."

"I see. My name is Sylph Stridemoon, of what was once Glenprice... a village that is now reduced to ash, if that."

"Yes. Most unfortunate. Our elders went to investigate, but even with their healing powers there was nothing they could do. What happened there?"

Sylph then related to Feil all the events he partook and witnessed. It almost pained him more than his wound to retell it.

"Most unfortunate," Feil repeated. "I only wish I could have done something about those fiends... but yet I wonder both why they never came into our territory and why they left you alive."

"It is something I wonder myself, and I'm determined to find the answers I seek," Sylph stated.

"...then allow me to assist you, my friend. I'm a mere acolyte, but I learn quickly. Please place your trust in me. I am sure that I share your pain at the thought of the suffering those people went through. I do not want to see it happen again."

Sylph grinned and leaned up to place his hand on Feil's shoulder, but was reminded of his wound and eased himself back down with a grimace.

"First, you should get some rest. Eat when you like... I shall return later after I have conferred with the elders about your tale."

---

Several hours later, Sylph awakened to a beam of sunlight piercing through the narrow slit between the shade and the window behind it.

Sitting up this time was not so difficult, and almost at once he was able to tap into the Ether. All was calm once more, and he tapped into its healing threads to cure him of his minor pains. After donning his garb, he opened the door to find himself standing under a stone arcade, which became part of a rectangular corridor around a beautiful courtyard. In its center was a fountain, and the statue that adorned it took the shape of a creature that Sylph had never seen before. It appeared to be in the fetal position, but it had elegant metal wings emerging from its back. A ruby-like stone decorated what appeared to be the creature's forehead, above two eyes fixed skyward.

Feil, from across the courtyard, spotted Sylph's emergence from his room.

"Sylph!" he bellowed, running and nearly tripping over his robes. "Come quickly with me to the audience chamber. The elders have something to tell you."

"Lead the way," Sylph replied, and tilted his hat a little further down over his eyes.

Why I Will Now Use the Word "Slimegrinding"

YMMV.

I just recently received (as an engagement gift) a new RPG for my Nintendo DSi. That's right, kids, it's time for another one of Reverend Red Mage's video game reviews!! This time, I'm going to be gushing over the latest installment in yet another Square Enix brainchild, the Dragon Quest series.

Aside from Pokemon SoulSilver, this is only the second large-scale RPG I have thoroughly enjoyed on the handheld dual-screen timekiller. Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies (DQIX) is one of those titles that I would immediately recommend to anyone who has even rudimentary experience with the series as a whole. This game is a handheld RPG done right.

Graphics: 8/10
The artist behind DQIX, just like a few of its predecessors, is the unparalleled Akira Toriyama. Toriyama is well-known for his artistry behind the characters of the anime Dragonball. He did a wonderful job with all the art direction of this game, as the customizable characters, the quirky and classic enemies, and items all have that distinctive DQ polish.

Your party is very customizable, and characters in your game will likely look completely different compared to the party of another player's due to equipment and class setup.

Attacks, spells, and abilities all look very flashy and colorful despite the blockiness of DS 3-D graphics. You can tell that the developers did their best in making everything fun to just look at.

Story: 6/10
You begin the game as a member of a race of heavenly guardians known as Celestrians, whose responsibility is to watch over mortals in the realm below. In true JRPG fashion, something goes horribly wrong in heaven and you fall to the world below completely stripped of your halo and wings. However, you seem to retain your Celestrian sight, and the fact that this sets you apart from your mortal companions is what drives the story along.

However, that's where the character interaction ends. Your personality is pre-determined; there's no character interaction in the party due to the fact that you can create all of them yourself. If interpersonal relationships is what you're looking for, you're going to be sorely disappointed. However, if you are easily engaged by an intriguing plot that follows the DQ formula of "town has problem - dungeon conquest solves problem - return to town for happy parade", then you'll definitely be over-satisfied.

Gameplay: 8/10
DQIX tosses pretty blatant hints your way that inviting people "from other worlds" is probably a really good idea. Having a friend join you in your game to help you powerlevel is definitely a lot of fun, despite the fact that only your party leader (the Celestrian hero) is allowed to traverse this dimensional gap. I only recently had one of these powerleveling experiences with a friend, which I will now call "slimegrinding". Monsters called metal slimes (and members of its species) yield the highest Exp. output in the game, but they are incredibly hard to find and very elusive once you actually do encounter them. Share this frustration with someone, and it makes the game all the more fun.

Did I mention powerleveling? I hope I did, because this word will be at the forefront of your mind after you start playing and are able to undertake different vocations, or character classes. Each class for your character has its own level; this does not transfer along with your vocation, but skill points, experience, and abilities acquired during class leveling do. This means that there is an intuitive system revolving around party management and determining what kind of party setup is best in any given situation. Your hero learns the Zoom spell early on in the game (this spell lets you instantly traverse to any town you have previously visited), which will be your only method of changing vocations until you earn a specialty class ability much later in the game.

Because of the wide range of weapons, armor, accessories, and alchemise-able items, there is never a shortage of things to do and look for. If you want to focus on looking pretty, search for components that will alchemize snazzy gear. If you want your party to be a powerhouse of death, grind through monsters, get money, and outfit with the best gear possible regardless of style. It's your choice. Secret dungeons, hundreds of sidequests, and extra experience-gaining dungeon masters (that you can come back to fight again!) keep things interesting far after you have beaten the final boss.

Overall: 9/10
Powerleveling, dungeon crawling, seemingly pointless NPC interaction, and item hunting is pure torture on the wrists, but thankfully DQIX comes with stylus support. And you know what? It's fun as hell. It's all the classic RPG elements that you love to hate, but combined into one fun handheld package. Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies is one of the best titles in the series to date.

For those of you already familiar with the DQ franchise, yes. It's all still there and then some. This time, bring a friend or two.

Impressed and Disgusted

Yesterday, a counter-protest was held at the RI State House for the National Organization for Marriage's (NOM, and yes, go ahead and make the Cookie Monster reference) summit stop in our state. Much to NOM's surprise, around 170 protesters showed up:

...most wearing red T-shirts — [they] rattled plastic bottles filled with coins as a distraction, the group’s president pointed to their tactics as yet another example of why same-sex marriage should not be legalized.

You know what? That's proof that their group's president was acting like a complete dickhead. There is a reason why these people were drowning out your words of bigotry and hate.

Personally, I am pro-gay marriage. And I'm a straight man. I've heard all the arguments against gay marriage, and none of them hold up. What's more telling is that a good portion of them come from people with a religious axe to grind. Case in point are the NOM representatives at the State House themselves:

“I love you,” one man with the National Organization for Marriage said as he walked toward his opponents with open arms. Later, he and another group member linked their arms and began passionately praying for the devil to leave their adversaries.

I really have no idea what these people are so afraid of. They are spoon-fed lies that gay marriage will tear down the fabric of American society and that marriage as an institution is under attack.

Really, now? I've heard it before, and I'll say it here. If you don't like gay marriage, don't marry a gay person.

NOM needs to get it through their heads that they do NOT represent all Americans, and they certainly do not represent all Rhode Islanders. They certainly do not represent me, and I deplore any such efforts to push the opinion that they do. This organization is egregiously religiously motivated, and the response to the counter-protest on Sunday is very telling of that.

If you would like to see pictures and hear stories of the counter-protest, attended by my friends Paul Ruggieri and Jennifer Curley (who spearheads Queer Action RI), let me know. Give them your support and feedback.

Obligatory Modern Warfare Post

I play Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 on XBox Live. I’ve only prestiged once, and I really don’t think I will do so again. I only did it because Infinity Ward was holding a double XP weekend, and I figured it would give me an initial boost to get all my weapons/perks back again.

Truth be told, I totally suck at the game. It took me forever to get to the level I’m at now; sometimes I have my good days, but most of the time my kill/death ratio is < 1.

That being said, I just wanted to make this post to put my nerdiness on display once more. In the game, you can have certain ‘classes’ that are a particular setup of perks, weapons, and equipment, and (unless you have the One Man Army perk) you can only change them after you die before you spawn. You have the option of naming these classes whatever you want.

Being the Final Fantasy nerd that I am, I named them all according to Final Fantasy job classes. However, the names are meaningful, so this way I can switch to them quickly when the situation warrants it. For those of you reading my blog posts and wish to give me advice on my class choices, please feel free to leave suggestions in the comments. For those of you who have never played the game before, you can stop reading now and go look at previous posts.

Since I’ve only prestiged once, I have 6 classes, as follows:

Commando
Primary: M16A4 with Grenade Launcher
Secondary: One Man Army
Equipment: Semtex, Flash Grenades
Perk 1: One Man Army
Perk 2: Stopping Power
Perk 3: Commando Pro
Deathstreak: Copycat

This started out as my primary class, but now it’s my “perpetual supply of noobtubes” class. One Man Army allows me to change out my class whenever I need to, so I can actually change back to Commando once my noobtubes are gone. Also, if I see any aircraft, I’ll take cover switch immediately to my Dragoon class (below). Makes for a great support role. (I’m all about those, aren’t I?)

Ravager
Primary: Mini-Uzi, Holographic Sight
Secondary: .44 Magnum
Equipment: Semtex, Stun Grenades
Perk 1: Scavenger Pro
Perk 2: Hardline Pro
Perk 3: Ninja Pro
Deathstreak: Martyrdom (pronounced mar-ter-dum, not marty-dumb)

A class that seems to work purely at close range, which is why the Ninja Pro perk is needed. Scavenger Pro makes sure that I never run out of grenades/equipment, while the Martyrdom deathstreak makes sure any close-range deaths become Afterlife kills or assists.

Lanista
Primary: AUG HBAR Foregrip
Secondary: M9 (Red Dot Sight, will change gun soon)
Equipment: Frag, Flash Grenades
Perk 1: Sleight of Hand
Perk 2: Stopping Power
Perk 3: Steady Aim
Deathstreak: Copycat

A class that is simply about bullet power. It’s great for long-range, but not so great when it comes to ammunition, as the HBAR isn’t at the top of the spectrum when it comes to magazines. I’d love suggestions for improvement, but this is my LMG class, so consider that.

Assassin
Primary: Barrett .50Cal with ACOG Scope / Silencer (working to Thermal)
Secondary: M93 Raffica, Red Dot Sight
Equipment: Claymore, Smoke Grenade
Perk 1: Bling
Perk 2: Cold-Blooded Pro
Perk 3: Last Stand
Deathstreak: Final Stand

My only sniper class. Cold-Blooded Pro makes sure that if I remain perfectly still, most of the time I won’t be seen by competing snipers. Claymores protect my sniping stands and popping smoke will usually allow me to escape snipers that have missed the first shot. I’ve made many a kill with Last Stand if I’m encountered at close range, and if I’ve had bad luck, the combo of a Last Stand Pro with Final Stand will allow me to escape easily if I made the kill.

Dragoon
Primary: FAL, Grenade Launcher
Secondary: Javelin
Equipment: Frag Grenades, Flashbangs
Perk 1: Scavenger Pro
Perk 2: Cold-Blooded Pro
Perk 3: SitRep
Deathstreak: Painkiller

This is what I turn to when I need to shoot crap out of the sky. The FAL is an excellent rifle despite its firing rate, and the Javelin gets the job done blowing anything up. Cold-Blooded makes sure that I don’t get shot down by the killstreaks I’m trying to take out. Using SitRep, I can tell my teammates where all the enemy claymores/C4 are placed. If I’m found trying to shoot something down, I may have Painkiller on at that point to get the missile out.

Red Mage
Primary: TAR-21, Silencer
Secondary: Ranger Akimbo
Equipment: Semtex, Flashbangs
Perk 1: Marathon Pro
Perk 2: Lightweight Pro
Perk 3: Ninja Pro
Deathstreak: Martyrdom

My namesake class is the one I use most effectively. With the Silencer and Ninja Pro, I can softly dash around the map and take out targets from any range. Reload time with the akimbo Rangers is a pain in the butt, but the damage output makes it worthwhile until I unlock the Model 1887. The TAR-21 has a great magazine size and can usually get the job done in 3 or 4 bullets. I’ve also got the Urban camo on it, which will be replaced with the Red Tiger once it’s unlocked. Gotta keep the weapon consistent with the class name!

Atheist On the Airwaves

I should have mentioned this a long time ago.

I'm a co-host (more often than not these days) on Freethought Rhode Island (FTRI), a weekly radio show that is put on the air by members of the Rhode Island Atheist Society (Site link). It airs every Wednesday night at 9 PM EST on 88.1 WELH in Providence, broadcasting from Brown University. We're also simulcasting on WPRR in Grand Rapids, Michigan on Public Reality Radio. If you're nowhere near RI anymore, it streams live at welh.net.

The point of the show is to discuss the opinions of atheists, secularists, freethinkers, and humanists as well as any other topics we can come up with that night. FTRI is an open forum, so you can call in at 401-863-9277 or send an IM using any client to bsrrequest.

We usually have very interesting shows, especially when the callers ring us up to attempt to debate us; the problem is, they have an erroneous conclusion about what they think we are and what they think we believe and/or say. If you would like to call us, don't be afraid. The phone may not work right, but give us a sec and we'll do the best we can.

If you're still reading at this point, don't forget about the poetry bash post before this one. I'd love your inspiration.

Invocations of the Muse

So I'm taking my Studies in Poetry class online for this session, and it will be a welcome 8 week period after the hell that is Accounting 101. So I thought I'd make this blog post an official poetry slam; leave one of your own works or one of your favorite poems in the comments. If it's not your own creation, please cite the author.

This one is my own; it has no name, but I wrote it with my story's character in mind.

The singular part of my being that is capable of destruction…
It seeks not love, nor hate, but blood.
It cares not for the sights my eyes have taken,
Nor for the songs my heart has sung.
The singular part of my being that is capable of reason…
It seeks not love, nor hate, but answers.
It cares not for what my heart shouts at it.
They must have deliverance.
Merging as one, the blade and the mind;
It dares transform its medium into something
Which is perhaps both hideous and beautiful at once.
I am ready for battle.
A parley will be a dance of death.

The Legend of Sylph Stridemoon - Chapter 4 - Tears of Flame

Our story continues.

---

There was but one sensation Sylph could comprehend when he came to: burning. Everywhere. His body was wracked with pain. The village around him was still slowly being reduced to ash.

He couldn't even stand to tap into the Ether... not just because his mind was torn from the pain, but because of the signals he was receiving.

Death.
Anguish.
Fire.

These were realities that he knew he had to face.

The most devastating reality was that he had actually failed the one mission he was given; to be Glenprice's Guardian. The town had fallen to the hands of a madman (if he could be called that... was he even a man?). Sylph had failed in his duties. His winning streak of battles had finally come to an abrupt halt. However, now was not the time to be worried about pride and battle scars.

The pangs of his body and will pleaded with him to give in, but Sylph's determination overrode both. Mustering up all the strength he had left, he finally came to his feet so that his eyes could witness the carnage that Gustach and his mob had left. It was far worse than he had expected.

Bodies, severely beaten or torn limb-from-limb, were strewn along the edges of the main street. What frightened Sylph the most from this gruesome scene was that there were no children. Many of the adults and elders weren't spared by any means; but Sylph couldn't see the children, alive or dead, anywhere. They were either kidnapped or exiled... he hoped they were safe, wherever they were.

Sylph again struggled to stay on his feet. He had to abandon this place and seek healing. Only then could he begin seeking justice.

He started trudging south. The local fiends weren't anywhere to be seen, perhaps either because Gustach's crew dispached them all or they were frightened by the fires. During the few moments of his trek where he could find a little bit of focus, he concentrated some healing power from the Ether into his wounds. It was merely enough to sustain him for a few hundred more yards. It wasn't enough. His will was completely drained... he had never experienced defeat like this before.

Is it like this every time? he thought. Where do I go from here? There are few who know about Glenprice... but there must be a reason I was sent to be that town's Guardian. There has to be a reason Gustach wanted that stone. There also has to be a reason he left me alive...

Exhaustion pulled him out of his reverie. He fell to his knees, clutching his side. The wounds in his back and sides weren't fully healed yet. The Ether gave two faint signals...

...purity...

There were two peculiar-looking creatures heading his way... large, yellow, and by the look of it, very fast.

Chocobos... I haven't seen those in ages...

Beckoning to the riders, who seemed to both be cloaked in white, he fell once again, exhausted.

Heeding his silent plea, the chocobo-riding priests immediately rushed to him and, with team effort, laid his body across the back of the saddle on the larger of the two mounts.

"A red mage," one of the priests noted after being the first to mount his empty bird.

"Indeed, Markus. He's injured... this is clearly not a good sign," the other replied, turning his bird back in the direction from whence they came. Markus followed suit.

"Do you think he's coming from that burning village?"

"I'm inclined to believe so, brother. Let us quickly get him back to the Basilica so he can be nursed."

Markus gave his chocobo's reins a shake; a "Wark!" and a few chirps emanated from the birds in joyful devotion, and they were off.

How to Make a Right Turn

It seems that nobody in this state can do even the simplest of driving tasks. So once again, read, so that you are without excuse.

How Not to Make a Right Turn

1. Start to turn left, and give any drivers behind you the impression that you will be continuing in that direction.
2. Assume that other drivers have telepathic abilities. After making your left-hand swerve, turn sharply to the right, regardless of any vehicles that may have mistakenly made the assumption that you are continuing to the left and will pass you on the right.
3. Your turn signal should never be a part of this operation. Remember, it is not needed; other drivers are assumed telepathic.

How To Actually Make a Right Turn

1. If a sharp right turn will not be sufficient, position your car beforehand at a far enough distance from the turn so that it is not necessary to swerve left before making it.
2. Flick your turning signal lever up, informing other drivers that you intend on turning right.
3. Slow down approaching the turn,  keeping your turning signal on. Again, do not first turn left, as other cars may pass you from this side.
4. Complete the turn, and repeat from step 1 as needed.

A need to read this applies to about 45% of you, I'm sure.

Mage Chronicles Game Reviews: Final Fantasy XIII

How do you save a world... that doesn't want you in it?

That's right. You read that title correctly. "Game Reviews." Plural.
I've done them before, and I'm going to continue doing them. The last review I did was on Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Wii, and before that Final Fantasy X. This time, I'm doing a review of Square Enix's latest magnum opus, now available for the XBox 360 and PlayStation 3. I have not completed the game yet, but I have made progress on Disc 3 and I feel I can make a fair enough evaluation given all the hours I have put into the game so far.

I will not abandon my standard format, but I'm going to go a little out-of-order for the sake of priority.

Story: 9/10
It's almost like FFX, but on a broader scale. Your 6 protagonists are not very dynamic characters, but like the other games, you come to want to identify with each of them.

This marks one of the first times in Final Fantasy history that the main protagonist is female. Her name is Lightning, and it's a fitting moniker; her sharpness of character and gameplay abilities will attest to that. After learning that her younger sister, Serah, was turned into a l'Cie, Lightning vowed to rescue her from her fate.

A l'Cie in this game is a cursed fate; you are branded with a mark somewhere on your body and are given a Focus to complete by your bestower, a Fal'Cie. You gain the ability to use magic and summon Eidolons. However, fail to complete your Focus and you become a monster. Complete your Focus and gain eternal life in a crystallized state. Because of their magical abilities and an applied stigma by Cocoon's government, the Sanctum, l'Cie are feared beings and regarded as demons.

The very nature of this idea is what drives the story forward and intertwines the fate of your motley crew.

Serah's fiancé, Snow, is also aware of her captivity, but there is some bad blood between him and Lightning. This dynamic makes for some interesting conversations.

Tagging along with Lightning on a one-way ticket to Pulse (the perceived realm of 'hell', but I won't spoil anything) is Sazh, a former pilot who carries a chocobo chick in his afro. He seems to be the comic relief, but you can definitely identify with him as the pessimist.

The three of them eventually run into Hope, a young boy. He becomes intertwined in the whole mess when he witnesses Snow unwillingly letting his mother fall to her death. He blames Snow for this, and embarks on a quest for vengeance with the support of his new gal pal Vanille.

Vanille is the uppity, all-too-cheerful type. You cannot help but absolutely adore her, though. Her role in the situation is also a huge spoiler, so I will not divulge it here.

Finally, there is Fang. Fang accompanied Vanille to the floating world of Cocoon, and now that they are separated, she is seeking Vanille out.

Early in the game, Lightning and her companions are all branded as l'Cie after challenging the Fal'Cie Anima, the one responsible for cursing Serah (who only moments before fulfilled her Focus). From there on out, the plot thickens, thins, twists, turns, and all the while will keep you on your next objective.

Gameplay: 9/10
If you like going in straight lines, you'll love this game. The unfortunate thing about the plot is even after you've reached Disc 3, you only get a glimpse of free-roaming bliss; until then, you remain on a very linear exploration path. This means that you only get one shot to find all the treasures in your current area. However, there are ample opportunities to powerlevel, and thankfully battling is enjoyable.

Final Fantasy XIII retains an active battle system similar to previous titles, but this time is a whole new innovation in party management. Your party leader (the only one you control in battle) has something called an ATB gauge. (the long, left-hand bar in the picture above) Each slot holds an ability, which is queued up. As soon as a target is selected, you automatically perform the commands you have entered. The great thing about this is the Auto-Battle command that is the default first selection; you don't have to manually select abilities to queue up each time. This leads to the next great innovation (and yes, there's quite a few of them in battling alone); the AI. When you have determined enemy weaknesses, your AI-controlled party members will automatically adjust their abilities to exploit them and grant you helpful status changes. Healing is also done in the best priority.

Attacking isn't just about doing damage, either. An important factor in battling is the Chain Gauge, a yellow meter above your target's HP bar. The more hits you land, the higher the gauge rises, with magic-users increasing and standard attacks maintaining the chain. (The gauge decreases after each hit.) Once this gauge reaches maximum, your enemy will enter a Stagger, and may not counterattack at all until this state is over. It's the best time to start pummeling on the damage, and this can usually be done with Paradigm Shift.

Each character in your party has assigned Roles, which are granted a limited number of abilities at a time. For instance, Commandos deal high attack damage, while Ravagers do the spellcasting. Sentinels draw enemy attacks and defend, and Medics are pretty much exactly what you think they would be. Putting a particular set of roles together is called a Paradigm, and has a particular use in battle. Paradigms can be changed on the fly in the middle of battle, called a Paradigm Shift, simply by pressing LB/L1 and choosing one from the deck you created beforehand. Learning to Paradigm Shift effectively will help you exploit enemy weaknesses and end battles quicker.

What is also unusual about this game is that you can go all-out on a near-suicidal finishing strike; your party automatically returns to full health after each battle. One less thing to worry about.

Almost like the Sphere Grid of FFX, you develop your characters by expending gained CP in each character's individual Crystarium. These unlock new abilities for each role and increase each character's attributes. This is easier for the three primary roles each character has, and more expensive for the secondary ones. It is an intuitive party management system and adds greatly to the game's overall ingenuity and challenge.

Sound: 10/10
You will hear neither hide nor hair (I know, that doesn't make any sense. Shut up.) of your favorite composer, Nobuo Uematsu, in this game. In his stead is Masashi Hamauzu, who did an excellent job with the music. Some of it is actually relaxing; at other times, it's almost as epic as "One-Winged Angel". The battle theme isn't at all grating, and is actually very enjoyable to listen to.

Graphics: 9/10
What can I say? The game obviously makes full use of each system's capabilities, and all environments and characters are rendered with alarming precision. All of it is incredibly beautiful, and I've come to expect no less from the Final Fantasy series.

Overall: 8/10
After having played VII and X, everything just seems to pale in comparison, even on the next-generation systems. Most unfortunately, this one I can't make an exception for. However, because of my first sentence, I claim an unfair bias. If you're looking for a solid RPG and you've got a lot of time on your hands, I have to recommend that you do not pass this up. Final Fantasy XIII is loaded with gorgeous visuals, epic battling gameplay, and a story that will draw you in faster (and makes a hell of a lot more sense) than any Stephenie Meyer novel. I'm on Disc 3, and I know that I still have a long way to go before I milk this title for all it's worth.

If you're already a Final Fantasy fan like me, though, I can safely say it's a great next step in the series.

No, I take that back. It's a giant leap forward in the right direction.

The Texas Textbook Massacre

The Texas State Board of Education, if you haven't heard it in the news already, is the largest buyer of textbooks in the country. Textbooks that are bought by the Texas SBOE are usually used throughout the country in other state curricula.

That's the skinny. But here is why you should be afraid. Be very afraid. (emphasis added)

In recent years, board members have been locked in an ideological battle between a bloc of conservatives who question Darwin’s theory of evolution and believe the Founding Fathers were guided by Christian principles, and a handful of Democrats and moderate Republicans who have fought to preserve the teaching of Darwinism and the separation of church and state.

Since January, Republicans on the board have passed more than 100 amendments to the 120-page curriculum standards affecting history, sociology and economics courses from elementary to high school. The standards were proposed by a panel of teachers.

“We are adding balance,” said Dr. Don McLeroy, the leader of the conservative faction on the board, after the vote. “History has already been skewed. Academia is skewed too far to the left.”

Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/13/education/13texas.html

If you click on that link there going to Don McLeroy's profile, you'll see that the man is a dentist and a fourth-grade Sunday School teacher. Oh yeah. This is the kind of guy that is heading up this school board.

Don McLeroy is a self-described fundamentalist Christian. This, alone, makes him completely unqualified to hold the position he is in. Fundamentalist Christianity is the very antithesis of everything involving education, science, and quite frankly any sort of reason. He is not alone, either.

There are seven members of the conservative bloc on the board, but they are often joined by one of the other three Republicans on crucial votes. There were no historians, sociologists or economists consulted at the meetings, though some members of the conservative bloc held themselves out as experts on certain topics.

The conservative members maintain that they are trying to correct what they see as a liberal bias among the teachers who proposed the curriculum. To that end, they made dozens of minor changes aimed at calling into question, among other things, concepts like the separation of church and state and the secular nature of the American Revolution.

Ay, there's the rub. These board members want to create a "balance" in history textbooks. Where have I heard this before?

Oh yeah. The whole "teach the controversy" nonsense that the Discovery Institute attempted to pull in 2005 before Dover v. Kitzmiller.

Listen, you buffoons on the board. Attempting to rewrite history to obtain some sort of "balance" is not only completely insane, it's dishonest and downright foolish. I go into more detail in episode 57 of Freethought Rhode Island, so have a listen to the show if any of you are interested. (We had a Baptist pastor call in... it makes for some very interesting conversation between me and this man, involving a purple fire-breathing dragon in my garage!)

What frightens me is that this attempted rewrite of history will likely be distributed to schools across the nation. Something needs to be done about the Texas Board of Education and fast. I do not want my son going to school without learning about Thomas Jefferson, the man who penned the Declaration of Independence and who practically invented the separation of church and state.

...a concept, apparently, that conservatives don't even realize protects them.

The Legend of Sylph Stridemoon - Chapter 3 - Stand and Fall

For those of you following along, here is chapter 3. Enjoy.

---

Sparing no time in their assault, they immediately rushed Sylph much like the first thief.

"Ah, they seek an encore," Sylph taunted aloud, and began parrying the incoming onslaught of haphazard slashes and spins. The men were faltering... not only because of their lack of combat prowess, but their astonishment at Sylph's seemingly non-human agility.

Taking advantage of holes in their attack patterns, Sylph managed to disable each man with one swooping, elliptical slash.

"You're making this far too easy, Gustach," he taunted once more. Gustach, however, stood there grinning. He didn't say a word; he simply snapped his fingers a second time. The number of minions that attacked him the first time was now increased by a factor of three. Two of them again had the same pair of ring blades; the others wielded swords and short spears. Sylph slowly backed away, feigning trepidation.

"Again, Gustach. You are making this far too easy."
Sylph eyed the group before him, all the while tapping into the destructive energy of the Ether. Stretching out his offhand and raising it to the sky, he manifested the energy in lightning bolts that easily found their targets in the group before him. They all fell at once. Their bodies, sprawled on the ground, emitted faint traces of smoke.

Gustach clapped twice. "I'm impressed, mage. You are quite the showman. I'm afraid, however, that I am going to have to ask you to take your bow. If you do not, then I must again warn that there will be dire consequences."

"I'm assuming that you're ordering me to surrender, which can mean one of two things. Either you think you can overpower a Red Mage of the Royal Order, or you're actually intimidated. Take your pick."

Gustach scowled at this retort. "This ends now." He snapped his fingers twice in succession, and this time a single slender figure emerged from the crowd brandishing a peculiar weapon. It was actually a little taller than the entity that wielded it; a curved pole with a long, deadly curved blade at one end. The other end was sharpened to a point. Its wielder was fully wrapped in shadow, or black garments, or something... Sylph couldn't tell. He attempted to keep his concentration on the figure's eyes, the only revealed portion of the body. They were red, like the others, but they were strangely alluring. Given the body structure of the figure, Sylph deduced that they were indeed feminine.

The dark group surrounded the pair, but left plenty of room for battle. This was no longer just a demonstration; it was a concert.
The shadow fighter was the first in an attempt to strike... the weapon had a longer reach than Sylph had expected. Had he not dodged in time, his bowels would have gushed out.

His dodges, counterattacks, and spells seemed to be useless... even after succeeding with a freezing blast to the shadow fighter's leg, she broke free and continued her assault. It was as if she had all the energy in the world to spare.

Sylph, however, did not. Tapping into the Ether too many times ate away at his will to continue fighting. His rapier was far too short to get inside the range of the weapon that the shadow fighter brandished.

Suddenly, there was a sharp pain in his back. Everything went dark. The Ether no longer pulsed.

...had he lost?
Did he give up?

He did not see her strike...
...Gustach...
...the village...

________________________________________

Sylph awakened later on... he did not know how much time had passed. He was lying on the ground, yet he could not open his eyes. He still felt the pain in his back. He knew that coming to his feet would be difficult, but necessary.

The Ether was quiet.
It was warm.
The temperature was steadily rising.
Sylph finally opened his eyes.
The sky was no longer black, but red, and laden with flying embers.

The Legend of Sylph Stridemoon - Chapter 2 - Incipient Demise

No response so far to the first chapter, but I'll keep up hope that someone's reading this. Here's chapter 2.

---

"Everyone… hide."

The villagers didn't need to be told twice. They scattered, grabbing the children and quickly retreating to shelter. Sylph remained in the road.

The clouds billowed and the skies grew ever darker until it felt like nightfall, even though it was midday. The Ether pulsed once more, yet again darker. It was a lingering feeling of death, and it began to permeate everything within his immediate vicinity.

Then he saw them... many of them. They approached the town and brought with them a foul, Ethereal stench of death. There were at least twenty; however, this was all he could count from where he was standing in relation to the edge of town. They were all dressed differently, but that is where the uniqueness ended. They were swaddled in robes, rags, and tunics of black and dark brown. Their heads, when not covered by turbans (at least, Sylph thought they were turbans), were covered by short, spiky grey hair. It was their eyes that caught Sylph's attention... they were red. It was both beautiful and haunting at the same time.

The tallest one seemed to lead the pack. He was an elder gentleman, but even with a few signs of aging on his visage, it was apparent by his build that his age was not going to be too much of a factor. He was the first to speak; his voice had a grainy timbre but deep intonation.

"Ah. Just one guardian, is it?"

"This town only needs one guardian," Sylph boasted in reply. "Why are you here? What do you seek with this place?"

The tall one marched the group into the center of town, and not too far away from where Sylph stood. They all eyed him maliciously; Sylph was careful not to return the stares. He kept his luxuriantly plumed hat dipped.

"You have something that we want," the dark one said. "But before that, I think it would be slightly rude not to introduce myself."

"I couldn't agree more," Sylph interrupted with a hint of indignation in his voice.

"I am Gustach, of the Necrati tribe. These are my, uh, comrades," he said, gesturing to the snickering folk to his rear. "And what name does this town's solitary guardian go by, so I may brag of it to my next of kin?" he asked sardonically.

"Sylph Stridemoon, of the Royal Order of Red Mages," Sylph replied, masking rising anger.

"Royalty, is it? Well. I had best watch my step, lest your royal boots be stepped on. Would not want that happening."

Sylph ignored this taunt. "Again I ask you, Gustach. What do you seek with this place?"

"Ah, yes. That. You see, I believe you have something I... we... want."

"I can guarantee you that there is nothing here that could generate the interest of a man of your caliber."

"If that were the case, I would not be standing here before you, no? This may seem very superficial of me, but I'm seeking a gem. A ruby, specifically." Gustach paused and grinned. "Much like the one you have in your possession right now."

Sylph was astonished, and it took all he had to hide this shock. He tested Gustach's claim. "I have no such item. What are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't lie to me, Stridemoon. We've only just met. That's bad etiquette, you know. It's right there, in that pouch." Gustach raised a finger, pointing to the very pouch that contained Sylph's new artifact.

"All right, then. Why do you want it?" Sylph replied.

"That, I'm afraid, shall have to wait until another day to be answered. All I can say is that you shall see soon enough. Just hand it over and there will be no trouble."

Sylph didn't trust these people. The Ether pulsed again, and Sylph could sense obvious malicious intent. "You'll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands," he said.

"That can be arranged." Gustach snapped his fingers, and a younger man emerged from the mob sporting a shining dagger.

"I'm a professional thief," the young man said, "so your valuable will be relieved from you painlessly. That is, unless, you would like to do this differently."

"Come near me with that thing and you'll not only lose it, but your hand along with it," Sylph threatened back.

This was no empty threat, as the man quickly found out. He lunged at Sylph's waist; Sylph easily sidestepped this clumsy attack. In one quick movement, Sylph brushed aside the cloak that concealed his rapier, unsheathed it, and in one swift, downward stroke, sliced his attacker's hand clean off. The thief screamed in agony.

"That's a shame. Such a beautiful knife you have there, and now you can't even use it," Sylph said nonchalantly.

Gustach was outraged. "Kill him," he commanded, and two other minions appeared from behind him, each wielding a ring blade slightly larger than a tambourine.

Sylph flourished his blade. "Let us dance."

Our Story Begins

For quite a while now, I've been working on a story that is a part of the Final Fantasy universe. It's called Mage Chronicles, but now that's the name of my blog, so I guess it's now called The Legend of Sylph Stridemoon. It's a fantasy tale about the titular red mage, a powerful and agile spellcaster who harbors a secret so powerful that he must discover it to save his world. I already have 5 chapters in the works, but I think I have an idea of how I want to keep continuing the story. Please have a read, and if you're interested, have any questions, or suggestions/critiques, leave them in the comments below. I've enjoyed writing it so far, and will post subsequent chapters once I know how many readers I have.

So, without further ado, here is chapter 1 of The Legend of Sylph Stridemoon, "Ill Omen".

---

It was a busy day for the village. The weather was relatively pleasant; it was warm, slightly breezy, and sunny. The ground was damp from a fresh rain the day before. It was not unlike any other day in Glenprice, as every family living there was self-sufficient. They only ate what they could cultivate. Trading between neighbors never ceased. It seemed to pulse with youth; children played in the roads, chasing chickens, rodents, and anything else that always managed to stay one step ahead of them.

A group of kids had gathered in the road, following a man clothed almost entirely in red. His long, white locks of hair caressed a youthful face... despite the color of his hair, his age had not gone past his twenties. He was tall and slender, and walked with a slow but purposeful gait, unhindered by the children almost trampling his heels.

"Please, Sir Stridemoon, tell us again about the Ether!" one cried.

"Yes, yes! That stuff is fascinating. Especially how you set stuff on fire."

"Nuh-uh, it's not as cool as when he turned that bug into a block of ice."

A smirk crossed the man's lips. Whether this was amusement or viciousness could not easily be determined; the brim of his hat was dipped so low, his eyes were nearly invisible. He chuckled and eased the tension.

"The Ether isn't just about casting spells, you know," he said to all of them. The children immediately stopped arguing; it was rare that their mage friend actually started a dialogue. "It is the magical force that binds all. To know it, you must be one with it. Interweave it with every fiber of your being. You must feel it. Taste it."

He was immediately interrupted. "What's it taste like?"

"Shut up, Kento!" came from one of the others. He chuckled again, and the children followed suit in laughter.

"Hey, Sylph!" the old town jeweler called from his shop across the road. The mage quickly bade farewell to the children, who lamented his leave with a collective groan and commenced arguing about his few insights about the Ether.

The jeweler held up a bright red gem, roughly the size of his own fist. "You got yourself a genuine Cornerian ruby here, Sir Stridemoon," the jeweler said, taking another look at it through his magnifying monocle. "It's a large specimen, too. Don't know where you found it, but I've never seen one this big and nearly flawless. There's a few scratches, but they're hardly noticeable." He handed it to Sylph, who immediately pocketed it.

"Thanks, Zoah. How much do I owe you?" he asked, reaching for the money pouch at his waist.

"Your gil is no good here, mage. You're the town guardian... I should be paying you for bringing me such a treasure to look at! Why, that fine gem will fetch you quite a money sack at the Capital Market."

"Heh... I would think so, but this isn't for sale," Sylph replied, patting the other pouch that held the gem. "I've other intents for it."

"Well, do what you like. Personally, I could use the money."

"I am in gratitude for your services, Zoah. Have a pleasant afternoon."
Zoah waved him off and trudged back into his shop.

As Sylph walked down the road back to his abode, he studied the ruby. It had a faint, ethereal glow to it. The Ether showed him that this particular gem radiated a small aura. It was peculiar, to say the very least. In all his travels, he had never seen anything like it. "My friend at the Capital Market may be able to help me utilize this," Sylph said to himself.

As he touched the doorknob to his abode, the Ether suddenly pulsed. Deep, billowing clouds suddenly began to form overhead. He released his hand, and his other gripped the hilt of his rapier. He moved out to the middle of the road. Other villagers noticed his trepidation, and out of curiousity stopped what they were doing to watch him as he bowed his head in concentration. Eventually the other villagers in the vicinity looked skyward, noticing the clouds forming. It was an unusual phenomenon... the skies were clear a few moments ago.

Sylph felt the Ether pulse again.
Stronger.
Darker.
Something's coming...

TempleCon

I probably won't be in any costume, as I'm too durn fat.
However, I will be attending TempleCon 2010, so look for the guy walking around with the tag Reverend Red Mage. It's going to be a rip-roaring good time with games of all kinds galore. Hope to see you there!

How to Make a Left Turn

1. When light turns green, pull out into the middle of the intersection with your left turning signal on.
2. When oncoming traffic is clear, make your turn into the farthest right lane. (Unless you are in a lane where you must turn into passing lane)

How Not to Make a Left Turn

1. When the light turns green, sit there, especially if on one-lane road.
2. 15 seconds after oncoming traffic has cleared, make the sharpest left turn possible into the travelling lane, coming as close as possible to the headlight of any cars waiting at the intersection.
3. Drive away quickly, before remaining drivers behind you now caught at the red light take down your plate number.

There. Now you don't have an excuse.

Stephen Baldwin: Our New Kirk Cameron

We all know that fundies say the darndest things. Recently, on Freethought RI, we played a clip of him on Celebrity Big Brother (UK) saying something stupid about evolution, and then Richard Dawkins promptly, elegantly, and succinctly refuting every word. (Man, he's good at that.)

In response, the Guardian has posted a short list of Comfort-esque quotes heard from Baldwin himself. A few of them are comical, but the majority of them are pretty sad. We'll be keeping an eye on more quotables from this "dude".

TO BONO
You'd do far more good if you just preached the gospel of Jesus rather than trying to get rid of Third World debt relief [sic] (2005)

Really, Steve? Religion is one of the major causes of third-world debt to begin with. Why is it that fundamentalists feel the need to exploit the crises of others with pushing their superstitious agenda?

ON THE 2008 ELECTION
I believe John McCain is going to be the next president of the United Straights [sic]… If Barack Obama is elected, I'll be moving out of the country (2008)

Good. Then we don't want you here. Go be a right-wingnut somewhere else.

This last one just scares me, as it should scare anyone with more than one brain cell.

ON TRUTH
If someone pointed a machine gun at my daughter and said: "Say 'Jesus doesn't exist'" and if she turned to me and asked: "What do I do?", I'd say: "What have I taught you to do?" And she'd say: "Jesus absolutely exists." And I'd see her in heaven (2010)

If someone pointed a machine gun at my son and said "Say you believe in God," and I were presented with this situation, you bet your ass I'd tell him to say just that. The thing about martyrs is that you have to die to become one. Just because my son says something doesn't mean he automatically believes it. Life is much more important than superstition. Matthias is getting karate lessons anyway... not only would he come out of that situation unscathed, but he would have disarmed the man and delivered a roundhouse kick to his neck.

I just can't believe that there are people out there who would actually do the same thing that Stephen would in this kind of situation; these people, in my opinion, are morally bereft. Ironic, considering these are probably the same people who think that they own the rights on "family values".

Whole Wheat Red Carbonara

I apologize in advance to all my carb-free friends, but I lurves mah pasta. I don't cook often, so that's why you're seeing two recipe posts so close together. Mom says "If you can read, you can cook." I think I'm starting to believe that. Enjoy!

• 1 lb whole wheat penne rigate
• 1 jar spaghetti sauce of your choice (recommend vodka or four-cheese)
• 6 slices bacon, uncooked
• 2 green onions
• 1/2 sweet onion
• 1 tbsp minced garlic
• finely shredded parmesan cheese
• 1/2 tsp italian seasoning
• kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

Chop sweet onion, green onions, and bacon. Begin cooking pasta as directed. Place bacon in 13" iron skillet on high heat and heat through, not until crispy. Move bacon to side and add garlic, onions, and seasoning. Cook until onions are sautéed. Pour and stir sauce into mixture, reducing heat to medium-low to heat through. When pasta is cooked and drained, return to pot.

Serve by putting pasta in dish/bowl, then add sauce on top with liberal sprinkle of shredded parmesan and parsley. Serves 4.

The necessary post about Haiti

Solar-powered Bibles and e-Meters? If you take advantage of a crisis to promote your agenda (Yes, I'm looking at YOU, Pat Robertson), then you're only compounding the problem. This isn't about beliefs or ideologies or politics.

This whole earthquake thing? It's new to these people. And now it won't be... two aftershocks were recorded today. How would YOU feel if suddenly the earth beneath your neighborhood started quaking, and all the houses on your block were destroyed? Now multiply that grief by a factor of a few thousand.

If you can, give. I don't care to who; just make sure the organization will send it where it needs to go. I'm sure they won't mind me hotlinking.

Doctors Without Borders

American Red Cross

Matthias' Mega-Gooey Baked Mac & Cheese

• 16 oz pasta (I prefer rotini... use something the cheese will stick to)
• 8 oz smoked gouda, hand-shredded
• 8 oz shredded mozzarella
• 8 oz shredded cheddar
• 2 1/2 c milk
• 1/4 c flour
• 4 tbsp butter or margarine
• 1 tsp dry mustard
• 1 tsp paprika
• 1 tsp black pepper

Cook pasta as directed. While doing this, melt butter in saucepan, then add flour; remove from heat and stir until smooth, adding mustard and fresh ground black pepper.

Place back onto med-high heat, stir continuously while slowly adding milk until it looks like glue. Once all milk is added, turn heat to low and stir in gouda and half the mozzarella cheese. Stir until fully melted. (If you don't have gouda/mozzarella, 8 oz of velveeta, roughly diced, will work nicely too.)

Drain pasta and place into 8 x 13 casserole, mix in cheese sauce. Cover with shredded cheddar and rest of mozzarella, then sprinkle paprika across the top. Bake for 20 minutes at 375 degrees.

Trust me. Best mac you've ever had.

Philosophy of the Red Mage

Across the internet, I'm known as Reverend Red Mage. This isn't exactly a well-kept secret, but that doesn't matter. This is one of my first real blog entries.

Having said that, I want to explain the mentality behind choosing this alias.

The first part, obviously, is "Reverend". I'm not an ordained minister. Hell, I'm not even reverent; most people who know me will tell you that I'm the most irreverent person they know. I'm an atheist; I don't believe in any gods of any sort. But that's it. The title was originally meant as satire, but I kind of like the non-satirical connotations of it as well. I guess I 'revere' that which existentially piques my curiosity and leaves me in a state of wonder.

The "Red Mage" part is indeed a Final Fantasy reference; it refers to a job class that a character may have (specifically in the first game of the collection). The Red Mage is sort of a jack-of-all-trades, but a master of none. Sort of like me.

The Red Mage can cast black magic, or offensive, spells. I have my special talents, and they're sufficiently effective. At the end of the day, they get the job done. He also has the capability of casting white magic, or restorative, spells. I consider myself to be generous in every sense of the word, and I can be amicable and helpful when I choose to be.

Despite the Red Mage's flexibility, his defense is low. I have my own personal issues and closet skeletons. I have my own personality flaws, and some of them can be debilitating to my cause. The things I desperately want to be good at, I never will, and it only makes me more upset.

I think I'm sufficiently useful and a productive member of society. I'm not the best fit for all situations, but I know that the Red Mage is, and will always be, a valuable asset to any adventuring party through this crazy ride we call life.