TempleCon

I probably won't be in any costume, as I'm too durn fat.
However, I will be attending TempleCon 2010, so look for the guy walking around with the tag Reverend Red Mage. It's going to be a rip-roaring good time with games of all kinds galore. Hope to see you there!

How to Make a Left Turn

1. When light turns green, pull out into the middle of the intersection with your left turning signal on.
2. When oncoming traffic is clear, make your turn into the farthest right lane. (Unless you are in a lane where you must turn into passing lane)

How Not to Make a Left Turn

1. When the light turns green, sit there, especially if on one-lane road.
2. 15 seconds after oncoming traffic has cleared, make the sharpest left turn possible into the travelling lane, coming as close as possible to the headlight of any cars waiting at the intersection.
3. Drive away quickly, before remaining drivers behind you now caught at the red light take down your plate number.

There. Now you don't have an excuse.

Stephen Baldwin: Our New Kirk Cameron

We all know that fundies say the darndest things. Recently, on Freethought RI, we played a clip of him on Celebrity Big Brother (UK) saying something stupid about evolution, and then Richard Dawkins promptly, elegantly, and succinctly refuting every word. (Man, he's good at that.)

In response, the Guardian has posted a short list of Comfort-esque quotes heard from Baldwin himself. A few of them are comical, but the majority of them are pretty sad. We'll be keeping an eye on more quotables from this "dude".

TO BONO
You'd do far more good if you just preached the gospel of Jesus rather than trying to get rid of Third World debt relief [sic] (2005)

Really, Steve? Religion is one of the major causes of third-world debt to begin with. Why is it that fundamentalists feel the need to exploit the crises of others with pushing their superstitious agenda?

ON THE 2008 ELECTION
I believe John McCain is going to be the next president of the United Straights [sic]… If Barack Obama is elected, I'll be moving out of the country (2008)

Good. Then we don't want you here. Go be a right-wingnut somewhere else.

This last one just scares me, as it should scare anyone with more than one brain cell.

ON TRUTH
If someone pointed a machine gun at my daughter and said: "Say 'Jesus doesn't exist'" and if she turned to me and asked: "What do I do?", I'd say: "What have I taught you to do?" And she'd say: "Jesus absolutely exists." And I'd see her in heaven (2010)

If someone pointed a machine gun at my son and said "Say you believe in God," and I were presented with this situation, you bet your ass I'd tell him to say just that. The thing about martyrs is that you have to die to become one. Just because my son says something doesn't mean he automatically believes it. Life is much more important than superstition. Matthias is getting karate lessons anyway... not only would he come out of that situation unscathed, but he would have disarmed the man and delivered a roundhouse kick to his neck.

I just can't believe that there are people out there who would actually do the same thing that Stephen would in this kind of situation; these people, in my opinion, are morally bereft. Ironic, considering these are probably the same people who think that they own the rights on "family values".

Whole Wheat Red Carbonara

I apologize in advance to all my carb-free friends, but I lurves mah pasta. I don't cook often, so that's why you're seeing two recipe posts so close together. Mom says "If you can read, you can cook." I think I'm starting to believe that. Enjoy!

• 1 lb whole wheat penne rigate
• 1 jar spaghetti sauce of your choice (recommend vodka or four-cheese)
• 6 slices bacon, uncooked
• 2 green onions
• 1/2 sweet onion
• 1 tbsp minced garlic
• finely shredded parmesan cheese
• 1/2 tsp italian seasoning
• kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

Chop sweet onion, green onions, and bacon. Begin cooking pasta as directed. Place bacon in 13" iron skillet on high heat and heat through, not until crispy. Move bacon to side and add garlic, onions, and seasoning. Cook until onions are sautéed. Pour and stir sauce into mixture, reducing heat to medium-low to heat through. When pasta is cooked and drained, return to pot.

Serve by putting pasta in dish/bowl, then add sauce on top with liberal sprinkle of shredded parmesan and parsley. Serves 4.

The necessary post about Haiti

Solar-powered Bibles and e-Meters? If you take advantage of a crisis to promote your agenda (Yes, I'm looking at YOU, Pat Robertson), then you're only compounding the problem. This isn't about beliefs or ideologies or politics.

This whole earthquake thing? It's new to these people. And now it won't be... two aftershocks were recorded today. How would YOU feel if suddenly the earth beneath your neighborhood started quaking, and all the houses on your block were destroyed? Now multiply that grief by a factor of a few thousand.

If you can, give. I don't care to who; just make sure the organization will send it where it needs to go. I'm sure they won't mind me hotlinking.

Doctors Without Borders

American Red Cross

Matthias' Mega-Gooey Baked Mac & Cheese

• 16 oz pasta (I prefer rotini... use something the cheese will stick to)
• 8 oz smoked gouda, hand-shredded
• 8 oz shredded mozzarella
• 8 oz shredded cheddar
• 2 1/2 c milk
• 1/4 c flour
• 4 tbsp butter or margarine
• 1 tsp dry mustard
• 1 tsp paprika
• 1 tsp black pepper

Cook pasta as directed. While doing this, melt butter in saucepan, then add flour; remove from heat and stir until smooth, adding mustard and fresh ground black pepper.

Place back onto med-high heat, stir continuously while slowly adding milk until it looks like glue. Once all milk is added, turn heat to low and stir in gouda and half the mozzarella cheese. Stir until fully melted. (If you don't have gouda/mozzarella, 8 oz of velveeta, roughly diced, will work nicely too.)

Drain pasta and place into 8 x 13 casserole, mix in cheese sauce. Cover with shredded cheddar and rest of mozzarella, then sprinkle paprika across the top. Bake for 20 minutes at 375 degrees.

Trust me. Best mac you've ever had.

Philosophy of the Red Mage

Across the internet, I'm known as Reverend Red Mage. This isn't exactly a well-kept secret, but that doesn't matter. This is one of my first real blog entries.

Having said that, I want to explain the mentality behind choosing this alias.

The first part, obviously, is "Reverend". I'm not an ordained minister. Hell, I'm not even reverent; most people who know me will tell you that I'm the most irreverent person they know. I'm an atheist; I don't believe in any gods of any sort. But that's it. The title was originally meant as satire, but I kind of like the non-satirical connotations of it as well. I guess I 'revere' that which existentially piques my curiosity and leaves me in a state of wonder.

The "Red Mage" part is indeed a Final Fantasy reference; it refers to a job class that a character may have (specifically in the first game of the collection). The Red Mage is sort of a jack-of-all-trades, but a master of none. Sort of like me.

The Red Mage can cast black magic, or offensive, spells. I have my special talents, and they're sufficiently effective. At the end of the day, they get the job done. He also has the capability of casting white magic, or restorative, spells. I consider myself to be generous in every sense of the word, and I can be amicable and helpful when I choose to be.

Despite the Red Mage's flexibility, his defense is low. I have my own personal issues and closet skeletons. I have my own personality flaws, and some of them can be debilitating to my cause. The things I desperately want to be good at, I never will, and it only makes me more upset.

I think I'm sufficiently useful and a productive member of society. I'm not the best fit for all situations, but I know that the Red Mage is, and will always be, a valuable asset to any adventuring party through this crazy ride we call life.