Obligatory NC Amendment Apoplectic Fit

I feel privileged to know every single person that has the ability to see this post. Because NOBODY on my friends list has made a timeline/wall post in SUPPORT of the amendment passed in NC. For that, you keep my faith in humanity leveled. If you do support it, though, leave your reason why in the comments so I can tear you a new asshole.

This is a fight that has just begun. We may be winning so far in RI, but the battle is lost in other parts of our country. Now we know that our President is behind those who stand for human rights. Flush the bigots and the homophobes out of the woodwork. For everyone on your Facebook/Twitter list that has supported NC’s decision, call them out. Get people riled up.

We need to appeal this decision; human rights is not a matter of voting. I didn’t vote on your marriage; we don’t call it “heterosexual” marriage. As Aziz Ansari so eloquently put it, let’s face it. If you’re still against gay marriage at this point, you just plain don’t like gay people, and you want to “stick it” to ‘em. That’s all there is to it.

Within the past couple of years, two of my cousins have stepped out of the closet, and I could not be more proud of them. I hope that they never had any doubt in their mind that I nor anyone in our family would reject or disown them; we love them just the way they are, and it’s not “unnatural” or an “abomination”. And I know that they have the power and the social graces that are necessary to make a stand.

I sincerely hope that marriage equality will become a societal norm long before I die. Personally, I refuse to get married until everyone in this state has the right to marry who they choose. Until then, I stand with many others both in cyberspace and reality who are defending reason and human rights. Sure, it’s a bit of slacktivism, but awareness is the first step.

Warning: Cannot Un-Read

So. Two things I’ve noticed.

1. I haven’t posted to this thing in a WHILE.
2. My status for the past few days has been “death by anal defibrillation”.

While #2 would make an awesome album cover, there is a large story behind that phrase that I can’t entirely take credit for. What I decided to do instead is to provide a narrative approach to reeling everyone in on the inside joke. I’m going to attempt to make it as brief as possible without leaving out all the good details.

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In the Catskill mountains of upstate New York, there resides a small community college. No, you haven’t heard of it. What was peculiar about it, however, is that it sat on top of a vortex that had deep connections to a realm inhabited by fey. These creatures seemed to have leaked into our realm; stealthy brownies and goblins had taken a liking to the sugar stock in the cafeteria, much to the bewilderment of the kitchen staff.

On one dark and stormy night, a particularly powerful flash of lightning and peal of thunder awoke a few distinct individuals; unbeknownst to them, their entire vicinity had been teleported back into the fey realm.

It did not take long, however, for them to notice the strange creatures prowling the campus. After taking refuge in the school library, yours truly decided that if the group had entered a different realm filled with magical creatures only found in folktales, perhaps this granted them the same power. An attempt to ward the building proved to be a lucrative activity; carving warding glyphs into the doors and windows awakened the magical latency within the new adventurers.

After a time, it became clear that something, or someone, could tell that the party was an unfamiliar anomaly. Traversing the field to get supplies from other buildings was the first difficult task, but the first of many battles that would show how well these people could work together as a team.

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So now you have a little bit of context. The party is in their first battle on the campus field with an array of fey goblins. One thing you have to know about fey is that they have an aversion to cold steel; it is their primary weakness.

I, of course, was the mage of the party; I stayed in the back ranks and lobbed spells in whatever direction was the most opportune. Another member was a little more technically and creatively resourceful; using socks and steel filings from a lawnmower in the library’s garage, he had basically made fey grenades. He also had the ability to cast Grease, which heavily lubricated any area he could concentrate on. Since these goblins were rushing the party, not only did he grease their running path, he threw his “steel shavings” grenade onto the grease as well.

So you can guess what happened next. These goblins fall on their ass, all the while getting pierced with these steel shavings. This, however, did not kill them.

For the coup de grace, I finished a handful of them off with a lightning spell.

Death by anal defibrillation.

Try to get that image out of your head.

Game Reviews: Soulcalibur V

Project Soul takes a bold step in a different direction for the series with new mechanics, new characters, and a long-overdue, refined multiplayer system. For longtime fans, the loss of favorite characters, increased gameplay speed and strategy, and hackneyed story mode may be a turnoff for those who aren’t hardcore fans.

I’ve been a loyal SoulCalibur fan since the first one (not Soul Edge, unfortunately), so I was giddy with anticipation when I learned that number 4 wasn’t going to be the last one. The SoulCalibur series has been top-of-the-line in terms of weapon-based fighting; although is simple enough for anyone to pick up and play, something can be said about mastering the nuances of the game mechanics. Soulcalibur V is no different.

It’s clear that Project Soul listened to their fans on this one. Multiplayer is no longer just searching for a lobby to join; a much-needed overhaul has been done, with the return of ranked matches, player lobbies, and the addition of the “Global Colloseo”, a great city-based collection of servers that allow you to join tournaments, create player lounges, and text/voice chat with everyone in the lobby.

Soulcalibur V is currently available on both the XBox 360 and PlayStation 3.

Graphics: 8/10

I’m not really seeing a big change between the graphics of IV and V, but you shouldn’t have to fix what isn’t broken. Once again, characters, stages, and weapon effects are brilliantly rendered on both platforms. People do not play this game because it’s pretty, though. I know I don’t.

The biggest improvement, as far as I can see, is the character creation mode. You can customize pretty much everything this time around; even your weapon’s color and trail. It opens up a huge new venue for creativity, with the addition of tattoos, stickers, and miscellaneous trinkets to add to your fighter.

Story: 5/10

Set 17 years after the previous game, the story is no longer centered around Siegfried and Nightmare. Instead, a new duality arises from Sophitia’s grown children, brother and sister Patroklos and Pyrrha. Sophitia is now deceased. (Also, unfortunately, Cassandra is nowhere to be found, which I am thoroughly disappointed with considering that she was my best character in IV.)

The single-player story campaign centers around these two; Patroklos, now a holy warrior, is searching for his lost sister, who was abducted by a malfested girl with a ring-blade. (Guess who.) Through the story mode, the new characters to the series are introduced, but no explanation is given to the absence of the characters that were in IV.

This mode is really nothing to write home about, especially since it’s a good crash-course in a few of the new fighting styles. However, most of the latter part of the story, you are forced to use a style identical to Setsuka’s from IV. Patroklos’ other form makes a good replacement for her.

Gameplay: 9/10

Soulcalibur’s fighting system centers around the 8-way run mechanic, which allows your fighter to move around the arena in any direction you choose while still focusing on your opponent. Project Soul made sure that the finer points of this mechanic were improved upon; the quick step (a sideways dash to avoid vertical attacks) has been emphasized in both animation and character movesets.

SCV also does away with the high/mid/low armor break and soul gauge system in favor of just an all-over armor gauge that depletes as attacks are guarded; at any point, if you guard too powerful a hit, you are reduced to your undergarments. The “soul crush” from the previous game has changed into the “guard burst”, and it has almost the same effect.

Following in the popularity of other fighting games’ “super meters”, your fighter’s soul gauge now fills up as you play, to two levels. Actions with the soul gauge are linked to the A+B+K button and use up a certain amount of the meter. Using the A+B+K button combination after specific moves turns them into a “Brave Edge” move, which either gives it higher damage, more hits, or guard break properties. The critical finish round-ending move from the last game has been replaced with the Critical Edge, which for every character is two forward sweeps (think a Street Fighter shinkuu-hadoken) and the A+B+K button. Both of these Edge moves are a great addition to establishing combos, and adding them to a player’s repertoire of mix-ups makes for a very fast-paced and offense-oriented fight. As further proof of this, the importance of the Guard Impact has been diminished; it can now only be accomplished by using your soul gauge.

Overall: 8/10

I miss Talim, Setsuka, Cassandra, Yunsung, and Seong Mi-na. I’ll get over it, though. If you’ve played Soulcalibur at all and are wondering whether or not you should get this game, stop wondering. Go ahead and get it. It’s got huge replay value, the online multiplayer is now up to fighting game standards, and the characters you can create have almost no limits. It’s not the best starting point for people who are new to the series, but after picking it up, you’ll realize why it’s gone through so many installments.