Monday, November 21, 2011

I Saw the Sign

My route home usually doesn’t include driving down 146, but I was on an errand. Not too far from the 95 southbound exit to 146 is a billboard.

Where are you going? Heaven or Hell (John 3:36 cited) 877.303.3344

For those of you who don’t feel like opening up your Bible, the passage cited (Jn 3:36) is as follows:

He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.

One of the Bible’s most blatant threats to non-believers, but paraphrased unapologetically on a billboard… in Rhode Island, of all places. I’d expect to see something like this in the South, but certainly not in Providence.

As I drove past it, I stared in stunned disbelief, but then my brain started going into overdrive; not out of fury, but of simultaneous disappointment and amusement.

I could launch here into an ideological diatribe about how stupid this billboard is, but I won’t. There is a simple answer to the question posed by this advertisement of absurdity: neither, as they don’t exist.

I’m sure, however, if I were to dial the number on the billboard and give them that answer, it would be a complete waste of my time. I dare someone to do so and share your results with me.